We do not typically consider our supervisors to be our parents, and to be honest, most leaders would not desire that title. But there is a growing recognition in leadership psychology that occupational leadership often mirrors symbolic parenting, like leaders nurturing their juniors, guiding, setting limits, and managing emotional situations in the workplace.
This idea becomes particularly pertinent while examining how leaders manage boundaries in their professional relationships. As a good parenting style would require a decent balance between closeness and authority, a good leadership would flourish with a perfect balance between support and structure.
Symbolic Parenting: More Than a Metaphor
Consider a parent’s responsibilities: they establish expectations, ensure emotional safety, promote development, and intervene when necessary. Empathetic and visionary leaders, in many ways, do the same.
Naturally, this is not indicative of treating employees like infants. To oppose this, symbolic parenting acknowledges that workers frequently look up to their leaders for guidance, acknowledgement, values, and instructions. Leaders carrying out this responsibility carefully enhance psychological safety and a more defined workplace culture.
Where Boundaries Blur
In conventional leadership models, authority was impersonal and distant. However, leaders are urged to be more approachable, sympathetic, and emotionally adept in today’s modern workplaces. These characteristic qualities are very important, but they can also facilitate the erosion of boundaries.
In instances like a boss getting overly concerned in a worker’s life, or the desire to be liked overtakes the need to give honest feedback, excessive participation can turn into overreach, and emotional intimacy can turn into harmful entanglement, just like it happens in parenting scenarios.
On the other hand, poor boundary management can lead to under-involvement, where the leaders are uncertain about expectations or emotionally unavailable. This ambiguity has the potential to undermine trust among the employees and raise workplace anxiety.
When Boundaries Matter
It is imperative to acknowledge that leadership is not a substitute for familial or therapeutic responsibilities, despite the aforementioned overlaps. Employees are not children, and the workplace is not the home.
Setting limits is particularly important in emotionally charged circumstances. For example, a caring leader can be compelled to assist a team member who performs poorly because of personal or financial difficulties. Here, empathy is crucial, but becoming overly involved runs the risk of becoming invasive or compromising autonomy. In these scenarios, leadership calls for what Goleman (1998) refers to as emotional intelligence — the capacity to identify, comprehend, and control emotional dynamics while upholding the professional boundaries.
The Role of Boundary Clarity in Modern Workplaces
Symbolic parenting models acquire new significance as hybrid and remote work redefine professional boundaries. Leaders must be conscious of their emotional presence as personal and professional spheres merge.
Managing boundaries turns into a fundamental leadership ability. It entails:
- Role clarity
- Honouring respectful norms
- Emotionally intelligent engagement
- Promoting independence
Reframing Leadership for the Future
Symbolic parenting does not imply that leaders should assume the role of caregivers. Rather, t challenges us to see leadership’s relational nature in its true essence. Setting boundaries, being emotionally present, and having the courage to provide criticism and encouragement are necessary.
This perspective is particularly crucial in remote and hybrid work settings with more fluid boundaries. When home and work blend, so do the professional and personal dynamics. Leaders who understand this symbolic parenting model are more capable of handling and managing workplace complexities with confidence and empathy.
The ultimate objective is to lead with a strategic balance of authority and assistance, just like the best parents do.
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