Be Positive! Really ??

Team IIBP Anveshan, Issue 5

People connecting jigsaw pieces of a head together

Positivity can create wonders but how many wonders do we see happening in the world around us? Very few. This could mean that either positivity is not easy (very few could have it) or it is not working for the majority to do wonders. Or both (not easy and not working).

What is positivity, then?

Probably, thinking ‘All is well’ no matter what happens around us is positivity. Let’s see the following examples of positivity inline with the above definition. Do the above examples speak of positivity that we regard highly of? Surely not, as the examples are quite extreme, which clearly shows something is wrong in them. Ironically, however, in reality, and in practice, the majority goes by the above definition of positivity. They tend to ignore the changing events and continue to stay in the bubble of their comfort zone until it bursts one day. Staying in your comfort zone is not a positivity but just wishful thinking.Your wishful thinking can become positivity when you substantiate it with the right actions.When you do right actions, it builds confidence in your wishful thinking, which then turns it into a positive force that can do wonders for you.

What can be done ?

The initial step in getting the right action is ‘Acceptance’. One needs to accept the changing reality. The reality could be harsh and unpleasant. Accepting reality is not negativity but the first step towards positivity. It is like when you are driving and want to overtake and go ahead of a vehicle too close in-front, you are required to slow down, create room for you to see the situation(accept the reality) and then race ahead at the right time (plan and execute the right actions).

Steps that could guide your way…

1. We cannot entirely control the nature surrounding us. We have to have respect for nature for its ability to create countless possibilities. If we are not able to accept the superiority of the nature, then it will be very difficult to keep aside the ego, which will come across as a hurdle in ‘acceptance’.

2. All things in this world are perishable, so it is advisable not to have any attachment. For example, the attachment could create hurdles in acceptance of the reality in relationship matters when your partner leaves you.

3. We cannot afford to close our eyes relying on the past positives or strengths. The openness to reevaluation will help us in acceptance of the new. This is applicable to our health where we have to adapt our ways to changing physique and cannot dwell too much in the past glory.

4. The silver lining is good but that alone cannot sail you through the bad weather unless you take actions to withstand.

So to Conclude…

1.Being positive in mind only, without corresponding actions to substantiate your thoughts, is not positivity. Such practice will not lead to the positive life that you think of. Life requires action and realistic thinking, not just happy thoughts.

2.Thinking over positive means insisting that the silver lining is the only lining to look at,and in bargain failing to look at other crucial points in life that may require your attention.

3. In the case of the current COVID-19 pandemic, thinking that nothing will happen to us or to our family may also be detrimental. When you’re lost in thoughts of your positivity, you may be less likely to take care of yourself and your dear ones. The actions are important to support your thoughts.

4. Living in the past glory can lead us to ignore or avoid the current unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions that need to be brought to light in order to get resolved.

5. It is not possible for everybody in this world to be happy every time. Each day may bring us different situations and thereby different feelings and emotions. Therefore it is important to accept the fluctuations and uniqueness of days.

About the Author– Dr. Arti Kandolkar Ph.D., M.A, SET (Maharashtra, Goa)Consultant Psychologist (Clinical Psychology), Career Counselor & Marriage/ Family Counselor. Dr. Arti Kandolkar has been in the field of counseling since her post-graduation in 2007, when she was appointed at Women and Child Development – Government of Goa and Family counseling Center, All India Women’s Conference, Goa Branch as a family counselor.Apart from her counseling work, she has donned Assistant Professor roles at renowned colleges in Pune and Goa, which includes MIT Art, Design & Technology University, Wadia College, Modern College of Physiotherapy, Sancheti Hospital & College of Physiotherapy, S. N. D. T. University, S. P. College (Pune) and St. Xavier’s College (Goa).